The modern lifestyle is so demanding that inevitably everyone, at some point, complains about something. Complaining is a natural reaction that allows us to release tension in complex or painful situations, but sometimes, without realizing it, this habit robs us of energy. Did you know that listening to people complain all day drains your energy?
It’s not bad to feel empathy when our loved ones are going through difficult times, but listening to those who complain about everything is more harmful than we realize.
Their attitude becomes so toxic and manipulative that it makes us think we are insensitive or selfish because we don’t want to keep listening.
Therefore, it is important to know how to identify these situations, to know what are the effects of this negativity in our lives and what to do about it.
The profile of people who complain
They live denying the life they lead, they always want to be the victims, they complain just because they feel like it and, above all, they do nothing to change what torments them so much.
Although at first it seems normal to us, over time we realize that complaining is a habit that is part of the person.
The complaint becomes an act of conscious or unconscious manipulation. Through it, the person tries to generate guilt, compassion or solidarity, almost always in order not to assume their own responsibilities.
They make us feel that it is our obligation to help them solve their problems or at least be a kind of tissue to dry their tears at all times.
The consequences of listening to people who complain
The attitudes of those who complain about everything are so negative that we begin to feel a burden that we shouldn’t carry.
While we can advise or help this type of person, exposure to them takes an important part of our energy.
Even if you don’t realize it, the brain undergoes changes caused by emotions that are generated by the problems of others.
Feelings such as frustration, guilt and sadness modify some processes that release certain hormones, such as cortisol, and increase the susceptibility to suffering:
- Emotional ups and downs
- Negative thoughts
- Decrease in concentration
- Difficulty solving one’s own problems
What can we do to deal with this situation?
In life, not everything goes as planned and we often have to face challenges that we neither want nor expect. However, it is useless to remain silent in the face of frustration and bitterness.
The energy we use to complain is exactly what we need to get through this kind of difficult situation. We cannot pretend that we are solving other people’s lives when we need these efforts to generate our own changes.
So what to do?
1. Take away
Whenever you can, try to stay away from people who are critical or complaining. They are probably trying to manipulate you.
The less you pay attention to them, the sooner they will understand that you don’t want to waste your energy listening to their negative thoughts.
2. Make her understand that the problem is hers
Even if you take the time to listen to their complaints, tell this person that their problems may actually be a product of their own attitude.
Make sure the situation doesn’t affect you very much and advise that person to take steps to resolve the issue themselves.
3. Don’t show weakness to people who complain
People who continually complain have the ability to manipulate their attitude. It is essential to wear a shield so that we are not willing to help them with any problems they may have.
Although empathy is sometimes unavoidable, try to keep it under control. It’s important to block it in some cases so that you don’t feel the need to help when the problem isn’t even yours.
4. Set limits
You have every right to demand that this person no longer share their dramas and complaints with you.
If you’re tired of hearing negative thoughts all the time, tell her you don’t like it. That you’d rather not be his handkerchief of tears. That the complaint is not a constant in your life.
Do you have a friend or family member complaining all the time? It’s time to act! Avoid playing their game because at some point you will begin to feel that too much negativity is interfering with your own life.
If you think you or someone else needs help improving communication and how to voice a complaint, remember that you can always see a psychologist.