How To Control Fights Between Children

Fights between children are commonplace, but we must teach them how to channel frustration and use dialogue instead of opting for physical aggression.
How to control fights between children

Fights between children occur because they tend to confront their peers or elders because of different emotional situations or because of a simple survival instinct. It can also happen that they fight with younger children to impose their dominion or will.

The role of parents is fundamental. The education of children, whether they are children or teenagers, regarding issues such as respect for others, limits and, above all, self-control of emotions should start at home.

Keys to Control Fights Between Children

In younger children, they usually present in the form of tantrums. Fights happen through biting, hair pulling, shoving, insulting or punching.

As they get older, they  can not only physically harm, but bullying can also appear. In the case of adolescents, violence can reach higher levels. Adolescence is a stage where transgression of boundaries is natural.

On the other hand, in the world of parenting, we are often blind. We learn daily and with each child. However, today we’re going to give you 6 important tips so you can teach your kids to look at fights in a different way.

Be sure to read: 5 Effects of Fighting at Home on Children

1. Do not punish children’s fights with violence

Mother who cannot control the children's fight

The main resource you should give your children before violence is the power of speech. Children should know that their first choice in a conflict situation that can turn violent is to talk to each other.

Children should try to  take rational action instead of resorting to violence as a way to solve their problems. Of course, it is illogical for you to attack your children with violence if you try to punish children’s fights. Aggression need not be among your options for punishment.

2. Teach by example

It’s normal for all of us to have outbursts of anger that force us to confront others. The important thing is how we control and manage that emotion. Children are a reflection of the home, so it will all depend on the emotional education you give your children.

Certainly, if you are a nervous parent, who attacks and insults others, who knocks and throws things against the wall, then you cannot ask your children to act differently. Your example will be stronger than the advice or recommendations you can give.

3. Promote common sense and calm

As we mentioned, controlling emotions starts at home. You need to teach them to act sensibly and calmly in a situation that could create conflict or discomfort.

On the other hand, remind him that although our nature is animal, we cannot act instinctively and irrationally with others. Identifying the emotion and knowing how to set boundaries for it in these especially tense times is essential.

4. They are not the center of the world

Children need to learn that they are not always right or at the center of everything that happens. It is up to parents to make them understand that they are part of a collective of human beings with different tastes and preferences, where everyone deserves respect.

The objective is to understand that  what you say or do will not always be the priority of others  and that this should not cause problems. The respect others inspire will make the child stop before aggressively confronting another person.

5. Consequences must be evaluated

First, before any violent action, it is important that you make your child see the consequences of his actions: rejection, harm to others, mistreatment, hurting the weakest…

Also, children should anticipate the consequences that can arise after a fight. It doesn’t matter if your child is small: make him see the damage he can do. Progressively, he will learn what is the most appropriate way to take on a conflict situation.

6. Communication is key

Communication is the key in a fight

Without a doubt, it seems trivial to talk about communication between parents and children, but this is the key so that your child can learn about many concepts for their education and about the solution of their daily conflicts.

Also, talk to your child, listen to him and ask important questions about his daily life. This will allow you to get to know him and give him the right guidelines to face everything fairly and firmly.

Your role as a parent is that of a mentor.

Mother teaching her son not to fight

It’s important that you recognize your place. You are the one who must impose order, establish parameters of respect and limits. If you need to punish your children, do so firmly, remembering that you condemn the behavior, not your child.

Also, avoid changing your mind or making your position more flexible if the child maintains an attitude of permanent conflict. If you are flexible in the face of violence, the child will grow up with important contradictions that can make these aggressive actions their common way of responding to problems.

On the other hand, children and young people have their own dynamics. Fights between children are part of life, even between siblings. Our job as parents is to show how to approach problems according to the child’s age.

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