The law of the mirror says that what we see in others is actually a reflection of what we have within ourselves. Therefore, to be happy, our happiness does not depend on others, but on ourselves.
Know the law of the mirror to be happy. It teaches us to manage our problems with other people (family, friends, at work, etc.) through some exercises with ourselves.
the things that bother us
There are things that always bother us. Some family member always telling us the same at family parties, children who are not sincere, among other situations, who do not value us at work…
We always expect others to act in a certain way, but in many cases we feel disappointed. However, are we aware that maybe we are the ones doing wrong?
As a first exercise, we propose to make a list of all the things that bother us about the people around us.
Our things that bother others
But now let’s do the opposite. We’ll make another list by putting things that might or have bothered, at some point, other people. To do this, we must be honest and self-critical with ourselves.
We’re not perfect, we’re human, and we know we can get it wrong many times. Therefore, it is important to learn to be empathetic, that is, to put yourself in the other’s shoes.
What does the law of the mirror say to be happy
The law of the mirror teaches us that if we feel something negative about a person, the cause is in our heart and not in the other person. For example, if we feel offended by something we’ve been told, it’s because we’re offending someone. Maybe not this person, but someone else.
If we learn to realize this, and especially to avoid it, we will possibly stop feeling offended. It’s curious how not all people react the same to the same situation, because not all people have the same feeling in their hearts.
A practical exercise
Let’s pick one of those people we can’t stand for something that made us feel hurt, offended, or upset. We will make a list of things we would like to thank them for. In some cases this can surprise us a lot, and even bother us; we will have to make a great effort, but it will be worth it.
Certainly, at one time, these people did something for us or for our family members, etc.
Then, even more difficult, we’ll make a list outlining things we’d like to ask forgiveness for. Perhaps we look askance at that person, lack respect, or forget to say thanks for something.
So far it will be a real exercise in humility. However, the third and final step is only for the bravest people.
We will contact this person (in person, by phone or by letter). So, we’ll thank you for all the reasons listed on the list, and we’ll apologize for everything else.
This exercise may seem crazy, as many people are too proud to do it, or else they think it should be the other way around, that they are the ones who should receive thanks and give forgiveness.
But the result is usually surprising. These people who would never wait for such a message seem to react very positively and emotionally.
When, how, with whom…?
We can do this exercise whenever we want and with whom we need it. It is a practical exercise that almost always provides results for being happy. It’s so simple, although not easy, that it’s worth proving it, especially with the people we most want, or in situations that harm us and want to overcome.
Images: Courtesy of Kiwanja y M Car