Regret Is Not Just Crying

Repentance does not have to be a negative thing, as it helps you to know yourself and grow as a person. However, it is necessary to know how to adjust it so that it does not drown us
regret is not just crying

Repentance is an emotional state that many use lightly. Surely you know someone who prides himself on saying “I don’t regret anything I’ve done and said in my life.”

This is not suitable. If there is something that makes us regret, this is the opportunity to change to learn thanks to a concrete fact; and being able to act, thus, with greater integrity, respect and personal maturity.

Living is, in the end, accepting mistakes and discarding alternatives in order to move forward more wisely. If you don’t regret anything, it’s because you don’t accept many of your own failures, experiences, offenses or relationships with people that it would have been better to avoid.

the psychology of regret

A very common thing in personal relationships is that partners or friends often regret “what” they did; that  mistake that hurt us so much.

They apologize to us with a lot of feeling and care, but nevertheless they don’t change. Before long, they commit the same offense again, demonstrating that the repentance was not sincere. Why do people usually act like this?

We invite you to think about the following aspects.

woman repenting

Lack of responsibility or denial of what happened

This feature is very common among teenagers. They say they are very sorry for having done this and that, and yet we fail to see the sincerity in their expression; still less in their later behavior, which shows no change at all.

  • Repenting means taking responsibility for the mistake made or the act performed.
    Also, feel the discomfort in a real, unique way.
  • There are people who prefer to deny what happened, to think that what happened was unimportant. This is, without a doubt, a clear example of immaturity.

Resist necessary change

“I know I was wrong, I know I was wrong. But I don’t want to change things and I prefer to act in the same way ”. This attitude is also common in this somewhat selfish personality type; or with very rigid ways of acting.

  • If we refuse to change, we will be unable to adapt to life, its path and the complex vicissitudes that, sometimes, destiny brings.
  • Those who don’t regret anything, among everything they’ve done throughout their lives, may not be aware, for example, that they’ve done harm to someone at some point.

The fact of not intuiting the error is also a way of refusing to recognize that there are personal aspects that we should change in order to live in balance; without causing harm.

Because it’s not enough to mourn, it’s not enough to cry. Who truly repents, changes.

woman repenting

Repentance teaches you to behave better

Sometimes, regretting something is not synonymous with having done something wrong, but rather that we could have done better.

  • Throughout our existence, we don’t just make mistakes; sometimes we understand that it’s better to choose certain paths or avoid getting close to some people.
  • Repentance is part of learning and often should be seen as something natural rather than something negative.

For example: my relationship was not happy, I suffered, but I do not regret having lived it for that reason. This experience taught me that sometimes it’s better to be alone than in bad company.

  • Repentance is an “existential wake-up call” that invites you to become aware of certain actions, thoughts, and choices.
  • Another aspect that we must take into account is that it is not appropriate to become “obsessed” with something done, to the point where repentance prevents us from living.

We must scrutinize repentance to understand its causes and consequences, and then make the change or know how to act.

It will be useless to focus on this act a high level of suffering, to the point of “getting stuck”.

  • A common aspect that also brings us this emotional dimension is that many do not regret having done certain things, but rather for NOT having done or said them.

This is, without a doubt, one of the easiest acts to remedy.

Considerations 

When your regret is existential (he regrets not having said what he felt, regrets not having made that trip…), think that it is not worth it to cultivate this useless suffering; because it is easy to solve.

In fact, it only requires one thing: COURAGE.

Life is knowing how to walk, assuming not only mistakes and learning, but also fulfilling your own emotional needs.

So don’t hesitate: call the person, buy that gift, that ticket; anyway, take this opportunity to be happier…

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